Ugh. Let me start by calmly saying: I HATE MY SKIN, I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.
I never had a problem with my skin growing up. I never had acne, or anything of the sort. Sure, I got pimples like anyone else, but I didn’t have the awkward phase of skin blow ups that would make me cry in my bedroom and refuse to go to school. I went through undergrad and graduate school and still, no major issues. Welp, looks like life paying me back for blissfully skating through puberty and my early 20’s without issue, because my skin looks like absolute shit lately, and by lately I mean for the past 2-3 months or so.
Everyone I complain to about my skin is like “Oh whatever, what are you talking about?? You have great skin!” Of course it looks like I have “great skin”. There is this little thing called make-up, guys. Let me quickly remind you all what makeup can do:
makeup is magic
she’s pretty before, but I had to add this because she looks soooo much like Leighton Meester
Soooo, those girls are porn stars. Or, rather, porn actresses. Their makeup artist posted like 60 before and after photos of all her clients and some of them are insane, and some of them are normal. But regardless, it just goes to show how much makeup can truly do. And I don’t even know that much about makeup. I just pile it on there and look in the mirror in natural light to make sure it’s blended and I don’t have that gross jawline line of makeup.
Is it going to disappoint you guys that I am way to scared to post any pictures of my own skin on here? Or maybe I should. Fuck it, I am. Since I am just gonna go snap pics of my skin as is right now, pardon the sloppy photos. Also, I have on a bit of zit cream (ew, sorry, gross). I apologize that I’m the laziest person alive and didn’t want to take it off and reapply.
left side of my face
right side of my face. never ever as bad as the left WTF is that all about?
So there’s that. I know it doesn’t look that bad, and maybe it even looks manageable, but so far it is absolutely not. In the first photo, you can see cystic-type acne by my lips (it’s their second coming, btw) and oooh lucky me, two more on my cheek. Oh, and that’s one on my chin. In the second photo, you can see the one on my jaw line, there is an older one near that, and the rest is scarring from previous cystic acne this year. When we had a huge Super Bowl party, my skin was in rare form. I had no less than 5 cystic acne blemishes on my neck and 3 more on my face. Literally, it hurt to lay on that side of my face when I was going to bed it was so painful. The thing with cystic acne is that it doesn’t form a head (sorry, gross again) and you basically can’t do anything but wait for it to go away. And good god do I ever recommend you do. Do. not. pick. It will nearly triple the time that you have that monster on your mug. After the Super Bowl party, I cried and did so much research to figure out what in the actual hell was going on.
A few things I’ve tried:
-Using a Chinese face map to determine what kind of acne in what certain places means exactly what and how to help it
-Eliminating dairy/red meat (still going pretty strong with that one, thanks Chinese face map)
– Chemical peels every two-three weeks (not to be used on open/active acne, which makes it a rarity if I can actually do one)
– Using a toner with glycolic acid, and a night cream with benzol peroxide
– Drinking Apple Cider Vinegar, as well as using it as a toner (both diluted, of course)
I did use Proactiv for a time in my life, and it seemed to work well, but I just could not tolerate the business model and fact that they basically send you as much or as little product as they want, on a schedule that they determine, that has not a damn thing to do with how much you actually use/want/need. And, they charge you different prices in totally uneven intervals; sometimes it’s a $19.00 charge, sometimes it’s a $65.00 charge, sometimes it’s at the 1st of the month, sometimes it’s on the 17th, and you just never ever know. I will never use them again unless I can buy it from a mall kiosk type thing. Which, maybe, I should just shut up and do already.
Anyway, I’ve also tried laying out in the sun, using the sauna for an hour for a few weeks, and drinking so much water I can barely be away from a bathroom for 10 minutes. IF I had medical insurance, I would have been to the dermatologist ages ago (by that I mean last month) because I am positive this is hormonal acne I’m dealing with. IF I had any money whatsoever to spend on superfluous stuff right now I would be getting weekly facials at the best place in Los Angeles and those amazing shots in my face that just make acne disappear! When my skin is bad, I am supremely disappointed. And this doesn’t help, but I have no patience to wait for things to work. I want instant results! Just give me the dang instant results! But, since I have just been dealing with this recently, I am going to have to be 100% more patient, I guess. If there is anything you have used/tried/swear by, please do leave me a comment.
xox
hal
PerchedUp 